What the picture doesn't show

You see this picture?

It is a picture of four friends.

What the picture doesn't show is... we have been friends for YEARS... I mean, YEARS!! We have been getting together monthly for 10 years and have been friends even longer.

What the picture doesn't show is... we have been through the gamut of life's trials and tribulations, the four of us... and none of them has stopped us... or got us down.

What the picture doesn't show is... our friend, Kelly, is fighting Stage 4 cancer.  Sure, her hair is gone... but otherwise, would you have known??

What the picture doesn't show is... She had to be on oxygen the whole time.  She was weak and frail when we saw her today.  Something that caught us all off guard... because she has ALWAYS been the strong vibrant one.

What the picture doesn't show is... the tears we are fighting... trying to look strong for Kelly... because we wanted our visit to be a happy memory for her.

What the picture doesn't show is... we are ending a tradition...we have cancelled our girls' weekend out because we don't want to have one without her.

What the picture doesn't show is... the confusion.  I've never dealt with something like this before.  Sure, I lost my mom to a car accident when I was 22... but to see one of MY friends, that is MY age dying...

What the picture doesn't show is... the pain and the fear and the sadness.  I don't know what to say or what to do... because imagining NOT having her as a friend is unimaginable...