Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Ughhhh!

It wasn't meant to be a fight.
I had no intentions of arguing.
I just wanted my concerns to be voiced...and heard.

My oldest has "bumps." They are similar to warts, but they aren't warts. We have to treat them nightly, in hopes that they won't spread (which they still currently do). We have been to a dermatologist and we have medicine to treat them with.

Recently one of these bumps has appeared on my son's penis. We checked with the doctor to make sure it was okay to treat it. It was.

I found out, last night, that my ex's girlfriend (W.) is the one who puts medicine on the bumps when the boys are with my ex.

Now, I have no problems with her putting medicine on my boys...but when it is on their private parts, I do.

Today, I voiced my concern to my ex(R.). He told me I was being ridiculous - that she would never touch our boys in a sexual nature. I told him I understood and that I wasn't accusing her of such, but that I did not feel comfortable with her applying medicine to our son's penis.

I suggested that she put a dab of medicine on C's finger finger and that he apply it. Again, he told me I was being ridiculous.

I reminded him that we have always taught the boys that NO one is allowed to touch their private areas and that we would be sending mixed messages if we wavered on this. He told me that she is like a mother figure to them, and that the boys view her as such, so there was no problem.

He said, "To prove it to you, we'll ask C." "C, who is okay to touch your penis like to put medicine or wash you?"

C - "You or Mom."

R - "What about W. or S.? (both of our significant others) Is it okay if they touch your penis to put medicine on or wash you?"

C - "Nope."

"See?" I said. "Even our 6 year old knows. It's common sense"

That was somehow me attacking his intelligence, and so he hung up on me.
I am SO frustrated I could just scream!

3 comments:

  1. I have to say I agree with you. The whole "touching thing" is such an important lesson for them to learn and really understand. I'd react the same way you did.

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  2. You're a better woman than I. I might have bitch-slapped him when he said that she's a mother-figure to them. And you're right on this one. No touchy.

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  3. I'm with Erin... referring to her as a mother figure would have gotten him a fat lip.

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