CrAzY? What's CrAzY? This is nORmAL - Post-it Note Tuesday

Sometimes I even impress myself

Well, I told you in my last post that I knew I would be up most of the night decorating... which I was.  Okay... it was just till 1:30, but I still felt like it was past my bedtime.

But I got it done.
...and even though I know bragging is not becoming... I even impressed myself with the finished product.

Birthday girl was happy with it (I think) ... and so was her Momma :)

Cause you ALWAYS need a little dirt to use against me - Friday Confessional

I confess...
it has been nice having my oppositional defiant student out on out-of-school suspension all week.

I also confess that him returning to my classroom ONE day before state testing begins makes me MORE than a little nervous.... he needs "adjustment" time.

I confess...
That I am making a cake for my friend's little girl's first birthday... and even though she gave me a simple design, I couldn't do it...  Cause, I'm all about 'Go big or Go home'  So I will be up for hours tonight making the more difficult cake. ( I will post pictures later if it turns out like the picture in my head :)

I confess...
I tell my bestie, Laura, that it is either feast or famine in the men department. She says, "That is a lie. You don't know famine." My confession???...She's right.
I have a date for Saturday. (...and it's not the guy taking me to Elton John next Saturday.)
But MY feast is only when I find one that I actually like and he likes me back.

I confess...
That I bought this "dress" only to discover that the bottom-half was see through...

AND when I went to return it... I found out from the sales lady that it is ACTUALLY a shirt.(Maybe I should take other people with me when I shop.)

I confess...

that I believe there is a right way and a wrong way to put a toilet paper roll on...

...and I have been known to change the direction of a roll in someone else's house if it is hanging the wrong way. So if yours is changed... Just sayin'

Only experience can prepare you for a day like today

J. is a sweet girl.
She does as she is told.
She works hard even though sometimes she doesn't fully believe in herself.
She reminds me a lot of myself when I was a kid.

I'm greeting everyone as they come into the classroom like I do every morning.
J shuffles by me without looking up.
I call her back.
This isn't like her. 
She normally greets me with a smile.

As I lift her chin in my hand, I question what is wrong.
Tears stream down her cheeks.
"My mom didn't come home all weekend. My dad told me this morning, they are separating."

I wrap her into me.
I have been there.
I have felt that pain.

She continues to hold onto me as I greet the other students.
I know this harsh reality isn't going to be easy for her.

When everyone is in the room, I take a moment to tell her the only thing I know to say.
"You need to know that this is not your fault.  You also need to know there is nothing you can do to change what is going to happen.  But what you can do is give me a hug when you need one." 

I gave LOTS of hugs today.
I have a feeling I will be giving a LOT more.

This is one case that I wished my students didn't share in my past experiences.

And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
And everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.
~Carrie Underwood

All for one and One for all

Our State testing is just around the corner.
The things we do to "motivate" our students is sometimes beside me.
Today, our principal called in each class to give them a "pep talk" before testing starts next Tuesday.
She showed them our last year's test scores and talked about how awesome they were.

Then she went on to say, "You are just testing for you, you are testing for us. We, together, can make our school shine!"
It was a great speech.
I think most kids bought it.

I, however, am a little less hopeful.
I know that my class has been able to go for 28 and a half minutes without talking (Yes. I timed them.)
I know the shortest testing session is 30 minutes long.
I know that my rough group may not make the group shine...and for that I am scared.

I'm still here. (!!!)

Have you ever felt braindead?  That's how I feel currently... hense the lag in blogging.
I don't feel like I have anything interesting to say...

(Doesnt that make you want to keep reading?)

I'm back to not sleeping.
But it's strange, I'm running on near to nothing and surprisingly enough, I'm making it.
I have been taking every second and utilizing it.

I have taken the time to just enjoy...

...smiles on my boys faces. (Aren't they getting SO big?!!!)

...Watching them play!!!



... loving that my niece loves me as much as I love her!!!



...reveling in the fact that she too is growing too fast!!!

...watching her take it all in!!!

...seeing those new top teeth!!! :)

...seeing the first evidence of spring!!!

Yeah... even being braindead, I have nothing to complain about this week.
What are you thankful for?

You headed my way?

He's walking backwards down the edge of the road.
No concern for himself or the cars passing by him.
I know I should have concern for him... but my mind swirls with thoughts of "What ifs?"

"Sorry, buddy, not tonight." came out of my mouth without even thinking.
"Who you talkin' to Momma?" came from my backseat.
Being pulled back away from my thoughts, I answered, "Oh... just that hitchhiker alongside the road.  You know, hitchhikers are strangers.  You never pick up strangers!"

As I'm saying these words, my mind falls back to a time when I was a teenager...probably around 14. 

Throughout my childhood, my mom would bravely pack the four of us kids into our conversion van and travel across country with us.  We would stay at KOA campgrounds ...making friends as we went.  Never a worry in the world...at least not to us kids.

But that summer, as we left the KOA campground in Kansas headed to California, a man approached my mother, asked her which direction she was headed, and asked if he could catch a ride.

My mother was a smart woman.  I can't tell you how many times she had told us to never pick up hitchhikers and then she would follow it up with a story of a time when her and her college roommate picked up a hitchhiker... my mom had done the talking, her roommate sat in the backseat with a baseball bat ready to hit at any time. Then she would say "We were very lucky...that gentleman turned out to be a doctor from the hospital we were interning at.It could have turned out bad!"

This man was no doctor.  He told us of his many trips to and from California and back to the Midwest.  He told us of his frequent drug use and how prevalent it was out west.  I gazed in awe.  Not only was he cute, but he had been places, and done things... my teenage heart swooned.

My mother limited the information she gave him as they talked, but I wanted him to know everything.  My mother repeatedly would interrupt me mid sentence.

Despite the fact that we were traveling all the way to California (his destination), my mother told him Hayes, Kansas was our stopping point.  I was heartbroken that my mother wouldn't take him farther.  Before dropping him off, I slipped him a note telling him how great it was to meet him and that I would love for him to write me with more tales of his adventures along with our address.

Thinking about that now makes the 'What ifs?' jump to the forefront of my mind, and I am SO thankful that the 'What ifs?" never played out.

What if he had seen his chance with a mother and four kids and taken advantage?
What if he had gotten mad when my mom told him she wouldn't take him any farther?
What if he had used the address to come "visit"?

I glance at my boys in my rear view mirror. I can also see the hitchhiker getting smaller and smaller.
"Not tonight. Not ever." I mumble and with that decision I knew there would be no 'What ifs?'