Saturday, May 3, 2014

The ties that bind... and choke... and sufficate

I saw friends of mine today who are a couple...
Last year, they went through experiencing infidelity in their marriage.
(Been there, done that.)

I'm proud of them because they have decided to fight for their marriage.

But the changes that I see in them make me worry for their marriage.

You see, they are both outgoing people.  They each have their own interests that take them their separate ways - or at least they used to.

Now, though, they are together all the time.
I mean, I get it.
The one that was cheated on wants to know where their spouse is all the time so the infidelity doesn't happen again. (It was maddening when I would call and call and call R. only for him to nonchalantly be like, "Oh. Well... The game ran late." or "Parents just now picked up their kid." hours after he told me he would be home and he didn't seem to understand why I was going bonkers and thinking he was cheating again.)

I also get that the one that did the cheating wants to prove that nothing is going on... so they only go places when their spouse can join them.

But what I am seeing is that it is killing their marriage... these two happily independent people are now shackled together everywhere they go and even though they are together... it doesn't seem as if they are.

I'm not advocating for divorce... Please don't get me wrong.  I'm just afraid that if things don't change for them... that is where they will end up anyways.

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