I *MIGHT* have let the cat out of the bag...

I think I just dispelled the mystery of Santa for my 10 year old son, Sam...
Some of you might think he is much too old to still believe in Santa, but that too, you can blame on me.
I love the thought of my children believing in something so whole-heartedly and without question.

So... yes, I have played up the Santa card quite well...

... until tonight.

Tonight, I left the present I bought for Sophia, Todd's daughter, sitting in the hallway.
That doesn't sound like much of a problem, right??

Well, it wouldn't be, except I bought her the thing she asked Santa for...
and Sam looked at me with eyes squinted and said, "Why would you buy that when Sophia asked Santa for that?"

I didn't have a good answer other than I saw it and knew she would like it.

Yeah.
I think I blew it.

Words that soak into your ears are whispered… not yelled.

This quote just oozes into me...

Any time I wanted my students to know that they were REALLY in trouble, I whispered. (You're MUCH scarier when you whisper.)

Any time I wanted them to know it was something SO important I didn't want the whole world to know, I whispered. (I'm a loud talker by nature.)

Any time their tiny heart broke mine due to things beyond their control, I whispered. (Because I knew that loud voice of mine would crack with emotion if I didn't, but I still wanted them to know how much I cared.)

Yes... Those whispered words... they speak volumes.

Looking up

As I stepped out into the cold brisk night tonight, I stopped and looked up.
The Big Dipper glistened in the cold winter air.
... and I realized that is what I have forgotten to do lately...
to look up.

To say that I have been overwhelmed lately would be an understatement.
I have definitely been down.
This, in turn, has caused me to be cynical with others around me and to just curl up inside myself... If I could have cocooned myself, I would have by now.

But tonight, as I stood outside (much longer than I normally would in these freezing temps), I realized that is what I had forgotten to do lately... Just to look up.

At the beautiful sky.
At all of my family and friends around me.
At the fact that I am ALMOST done with this master's degree and it actually hasn't killed me.(I turned in my thesis paper tonight... So, yes, that helped in not being hunkered down any more. :)
At all the positive things this life is offering me.

Yep, things are looking up.